I feel like I should be singing “My Way” on stage in a big auditorium.

Slept well last night- my plan of eating at a decent time rather than at 11.30 at night paid off in dividends. I now have one more night to go in the hostel, and I actually need to think about doing some packing tonight, which is quite a wild concept. If the delegate centre was like a ghost town yesterday, today it’s more like the Marie Celeste. The whole kit and kaboodle shuts down at 12, so I’m going to pop downstairs and try and watch something before the barriers come down.

I’ve also been having some good thoughts about my writing, and the fact that I am going to have to work like a dog when I get back if I’m ever actually going to get anywhere with it. It’s all acheivable, but none of it is going to be particularly easy.

I’m looking forward to getting the chance to enjoy Edinburgh- even if, on the day I’ve finally got the chance to take some pictures, it’s gone grey as hell. And I’m not worrying about the money side of things- I’m having a good time for the next 72 hours, and I’m going to make sure that I’m well fed and ready for sleep when I get on the bus tomorrow.

I may not get the chance to update before I get home. It’s been an interesting, weird and occasionally difficult ride- but, in the end, it feels like it’s been worth it.

(Almost forgot to mention the movies I saw last night- The Devil and Daniel Johnston was a weird, fascinating tale of a cult musician and his battle with severe mental disorders. Touching, illuminating, and quite excellent. P, on the other hand, was yet another Thai movie that doesn’t quite work for me, a tale of an “evil ghost girl” that’s very close to Buppa Rahtree (a previous Thai horror flick), very uneven, and not very scary. It’s also got a fabulously daft ending (Basically, imagine the “Take ME!!” ending of The Exorcist if Damien Carrass then had to sprint about a mile down the road in order to throw himself off something tall to kill himself. Doesn’t quite work, does it?)

I’m very aware of the fact that I’m losing free internet access when the Delegate’s centre closes tomorrow lunchtime, so I’m trying to make the best of it while I can. Ran into Dave, artist friend of Stevie’s and original creator of the Kooks- found out some changes that they’ve made to the screenplay (It’s a short film we’re doing). Not sure if I’m happy about hearing about the changes after they’ve been made (rather than at least being run past me first), I’m trying to be phillosophical and remind myself that, when it comes to the crunch, it ain’t my film. Had some fantastically wonderful Chinese food as well, and then watched a rather damn good serial killer thriller called Antibodies. Also heard from George briefly, and she’s doing fine, which is great. Back to the Hostel, some quick food, and then on to the evening’s two screenings.

There are some hills nearby, and I really want to walk in them on Monday. The idea of finding some green areas that I don’t know, and getting to explore them… that’s a good thing.

And being home is getting closer and closer.

Okay- the last one I did with my username. This is probably the better one- (and I like the robot more!)

Managed to watch the bits of Gunner Palace that I missed thanks to being asleep (which was, to be honest, most of the movie). I’ve managed to bag a screening for this afternoon of a thriller called Antibodies, then I’ve got Devil and Daniel Johnston (which I’m not quite sure about…) and Thai horror P. I may try watching something tomorrow morning in the Videotecque, but I’m not panicking.

Everything’s quietening down here. The Delegate Centre is like a ghost town, and tomorrow it closes its doors for good at 12.30. It’s a strange feeling- good, but strange.

I’m off to lug my stuff back to the hostel, grab some food- and possibly leap into a live show if I’ve got the time. I am determined to have a good time for the next couple of days.

Something that made me smile (thanks to Nessreader….)

It’s 9.00. And I don’t have to go to a screening. This feels very, very strange.

Yesterday was a bit wearing- saw The Beat That My Heart Skipped, which did finally win me over despite the fact that I spent most of the movie restless and not wanting to be in a Cinema. It’s not the movie’s fault, it’s just that I’ve been doing way too much of that kind of thing recently. I’ve got some Videotechqing to do over the next day, but if I don’t get it all done, that’s okay.

Slept well. Even managed to dream- all I can remember is being on a tube-type train where it had to pass through these various pink muslim curtains that had been hung over the track. George was with me, and had to run off at one station, and only just made it back in time. Nice to know that I’m getting to hang out with her in my subconscious, even if it’s not going to be happening for another week.

I’ve got two more nights at the hostel. Three more days in Edinburgh. There’s stuff to do when I get home, but for the moment, I’m just looking forward to being back in London, in my flat, and not having to move from the sofa for a while.

I think my body is trying to tell me something. I just watched Gunner Palace, a very good, very absorbing documentary about American soldiers in Iraq- at least, the bits that I saw were good. Trouble was, I fell asleep about ten minutes in, and woke up an hour later. It’s a little frustrating, as I am trying to make the best of all the stuff I’ve got going on here, but now that the Industry Screenings are over, it’s like the momentum is slowing to a trickle. Tomorrow is going to be catching up with stuff in the Videotecque (hopefully), and two screenings- The Devil and Daniel Johnston, and P. After that, the Festival is over. Was asked twice today “if I was going to the party tomorrow night”, which was news (the answer was no). I’m not sure if I’ve networked enough over the last couple of weeks, but keeping myself sane has been difficult enough. The weather here has gone rather grey, and it’s sapped my mood somewhat. However, I am determined to keep myself happy, and that my last couple of days in Edinburgh are going to be adventurous and fun.

I can’t wait to be home. And I can’t wait to see George again.

Well- there’s one thing to be thankful for. At least I’ll never need to see it again.

Great Ecstacy of Robert Carmichael was one of those miserablist “State of the Nation” pieces that only ever actually gets noticed because it lavishes attention on really, really, REALLY nasty violence. I’d heard it was unpleasent. And it didn’t let me down. A really tiresome, nihilistic film shot with an artistic, painterly haze that’s trying to justify what little it has to say. The first half was, at the least, interesting in its distinctive style. The rest of it was tiresome nonsense, and I’m going to try and flush it out of my brain as quickly as is humanly possible.

Okay, so I haven’t got a specific film now until 5. Got some things to see in the Videotecque (Mad Hot Ballroom sounds like enough of a contrast), and also desperately need some lunch. I’m very happy that it’s Friday, though- and tomorrow is essentially the last day I’ll be able to get anything major done. After that, it’s “mopping-up operations”, and the chance to properly explore Edinburgh before I depart late on Monday night.

Food beckons…

Quick update- I’m short on time at the moment. Got an hilariously nasty double bill coming up (Snuff-Movie and Great Ecstacy of Robert Carmichael, anyone?), but feeling more awake. Getting lots of work-related e-mails that make me feel like a freelance journo rather than just some entertainingly rumpled ligger. Two more days of screenings, and then I’m a free man. The Internet at the delegates centre may be busy later on, so this may be my only update for today. If so, then I’m looking forward to Sunday, and the chance to wander and explore Edinburgh without having to sit in a darkened room…

I’ve now completed the last bit of serious, has-to-be-done-tomorrow-or-else work that I’ve got to do at Edinburgh- the interview piece with Joss Whedon (it was culled from a Press Conference, sadly), and I feel good. Admittedly, it’s the traditional “Wait and See” section of the day when I get to find out if there are any hideous problems, but it should (hopefully) be all okay. I always feel a weird sense of peace and satisfaction at this point, and I’m really pleased that I’m doing a hell of a lot better than I was a few days ago. I’ve got a horror film called The Dark to watch in a little while- it’s based on a book called Sheep by Simon Maginn which i read ages and ages ago, although the synopsis of the film doesn’t seem to bear much relation to the synopsis of the book that I remember. I guess we’ll see. Am also torn between brit-flick The Business, or a programme of Music Vids at 11.30-12.00ish.

At the least, I’m way past the halfway point- after today, there’s only five days before I get on the bus. Unfortunately, there’s a little longer before I get to see George, as she’s off on Holiday with her Mum and Meryl and the kids for a week. It only sank in on the phone yesterday that I won’t be seeing her before next Saturday, and I didn’t handle it very well. It’s very hard sometimes not to act in rather a selfish, brattish “Isn’t the whole world about ME?!?” way- I said it was okay for her to go because it would have been monstrously selfish for me to have said no, and it’d be equally stupid for me to start making her feel guilty and bad about it just to make myself feel better. So I’m not going to. I’m going to be madly looking forward to seeing her again, but I can wait.

Also tonight, should hopefully be seeing the show that Barney- one of the teens from my dorm last week (not the one who was spectacularly drunk)- is helping out with up here. At least, I will be if I can work out what the hell the venue is, as despite having the name of the show and directions, I still can’t find it. It shall be acheived, it shall be acheived….