Time for a brief update – with the small proviso that I’m very, very tired right now. It’s been another one of those weeks when lots of reviews come in at the same time, and I end up breathing a sigh of relief that I’m not trying to fit a day job around these antics. Work is always good, and this week has been an enjoyable one, with plenty to do. I’ve also had… well, I’ve had some news that means I have a new project. And I can’t say what it is. Or what it’s for. All I will say is that it’s going to be occupying me for at least the next month, and it’s going to be a massive amount of work. And it might be good news. But then again, it might not. Either way, if I don’t update much over the next few weeks, that’ll be the reason why.

I’ve also been writing like crazy, although that might be reducing slightly thanks to the Uber-Ultra-Secret Project. I don’t want to lose my 750-a-day quota (although the aforementioned project will be helping), and I’m getting the feeling that it might be wise to give myself a day off fairly soon. An actual, not-doing-anything day off. Only problem is, there’s an awful lot to do on the U.U.S.P., and it’s becoming a bit of a compulsion. However, I may have to be strict with myself, as energy is going to be vital at various points over the next few weeks. Plus, I’ve got proofreading happening in a week’s time. Plenty to do. And not much time to do it.

One advantage of being busy? I barely noticed that this was the first Valentine’s Day in a very long time that I’ve spent single. There’ll be a few landmarks like this that will hit me like a ton of bricks, I’m sure – but this one didn’t even dent me. I think that’s what we’ll be calling ‘progress’ – at least, for this week…

It’s bleak and blustery outside, with wind and rain and brooding grey skies – in short, typical Cornish weather. My journey down here was transformed into a bit of a saga thanks to some serious fog at Manchester Airport- resulting in a near-three-hour delay on the flight, which took a certain amount away from the ‘hey, air travel is just as much as the train, and a lot quicker!’ It was my first time doing it this way, though, and the actual journey part (once we got off the ground, and past the interminable waiting) was over ridiculously quickly, which was something of a relief, since I was (a) rather emotionally fragile and (b) running on only three hours of sleep. Since arriving, I’ve been realising exactly how tired I am – a combination of hard work and bad sleep has left me very fatigued, and a certain proportion of the holiday is simply going to be me, staring off into the distance, enjoying the simple act of not doing anything.

I’m also slowly getting to a more philosophical place relating to my current life situation. There’s been plenty of time to think about it, combined with a couple of things happening which I’m going to draw a discrete veil over, but I’m starting to feel like I really don’t want to be angry about this anymore, and that I’m looking forward to a point where the bruises will go down, and I’ll be able to think about the good stuff without it hurting quite so much. I’m surviving, I’m coping, and I’m aiming towards the future in a number of intriguing directions, and that’s something I’m fairly happy with right now. I’ve got four-and-a-half more days down here (including meeting up with Tris on Monday, which looks to be (weather permitting) a seriously fun bit of adventure), and I’m going to do my best to enjoy them.

…aaaand we’re back.

Things have been somewhat quiet here of late, and – in a break with the tradition of the last twelve months – it’s not because I’ve been spending most of my time curled up in a tiny ball weeping, or howling in despair at the sky like a very low-rent King Lear. Instead, it’s been mainly the fact that I’ve actually been pretty damn busy – one of my main projects has been a pretty drastic overhaul of the website (which isn’t finished as yet – there are still some tweaks to do), and I’ve also been writing. Actual, genuine, no-holds barred writing. I’ve notched up over 20,000 words since January 1st, and (without giving away too much) I’ve got a schedule I’m trying to stick to, and am succeeding so far. We’ll see how it goes. More than anything else, the last week or so has been one of the first points in a while where I’ve actually felt like I’m doing the right thing and going in the right direction. Doubt, fear and other negative emotions have been fairly regular bedfellows for me (for somewhat obvious reasons), but I now feel like whatever I’ve been through (and whatever I’m going to go through – I’m aware of the fact that this emotional rollercoaster ain’t over yet), I’m going to be alright in the end. It’s something I haven’t felt for a while, and am rather glad to be feeling now.

The work helps – I’ve had a selection of things to do over the past two weeks, and have actually had that familiar ‘Not quite enough time in the day’ feeling beloved of freelancers, which means that no matter how hard it may be to keep things going (and how infrequently it may arrive), you’ve gotta be doing something right.

So things are okay. Yes, there’s room for improvement – but now, I feel like at least there’s potential for improvement as well. Plus, I’m off on holiday to Cornwall in a couple of days, which promises to be a much-needed fix of countryside and quiet. And I’m generally hoping that this positivity vibe doesn’t simply turn out to be the hush before the metaphorical custard pie that’s been hurled in my direction finally hits…