Demon Days

I don’t like blogging when I’m feeling depressed. It feels wrong, or like it would be rather self-indulgent, so I’ve been slightly avoiding it for the last few days, simply because getting sustained work done on the novel has become very, very tough. There have been plenty of moments that have been the equivalent of getting 3/4 of the way through building a skyscraper only to look down at the foundations and think “Uh-oh…”, but I think I have actually succeeded in getting past them. It’s been affecting my sleep, as well- I’ve been getting up progressively earlier (5.30 am, which has left me feeling somewhat zonked), but thankfully I’ve got one more day, and then George and I are off to my sister’s place in Devon for the weekend, and then I’m down in Cornwall with my dad for the rest of the week.

I’m going to try and leave the book alone for that entire week, so that I can get back, do some furious rewriting, and hopefully be in a good enough headspace to also begin some film journalism work as well. It’d be very easy to continue in this mode for a very long time, and while it’s been fantastic saying “Bollocks to it!” and doing very little other than writing for the past month and a half, I am going to have to balance it out with some genuine work soon in order to survive longer. I am, at least, paid up to survive on my current monthly wage (which isn’t much) until the beginning of September, and that’s with attending the Edinburgh Festival as well. I am terribly tired at the moment, and intermittently convinced that the weird, sexy, action-packed comic-book-style sci-fi romp that I’ve been writing doesn’t actually work, but I know that this has been exceptionally good for me. Whatever happens, I’ll be able to get to the end of this year and say “I have written my first novel!” I might not get any further than that, but hell, it’s better than a lot of people manage. I’m going to get there. And it’s going to be fun.

Week Seven of Who continued the downward spiral- especially disappointing considering it was written by the usually reliable Mark Gatiss. Maureen Lipman as a camp, evil TV intelligence shouting things like “Hungry!!” and “I’m going to eat you up!” is something I could definitely have done without…

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